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Tuesday, October 31, 2017

on being late for school


So this morning went a bit like this:

We were all up extra-early to put finishing touches on Josiah's costume and makeup for his dress up party at school today.

I am almost always late when I have extra time.

We needed to stop at the gas station on the way there. My thinking was that we had been ready early several times in the last week, so no biggies.

I was so wrong. We always go slower in the mornings when it is cold. It is a fact of life.

There was also an accident and so there was extra traffic on the way.

All this led to picking up our carpool friends at the latest time ever. Which meant that we were the latest to school that we have been so far this year. On the drive to school, I found myself wanting to hurry and mentally berating myself... so here is a peek into my mental battle with feelings of failure.


Me: ahhhhhhh we are SO late!!! 

Also Me: well, are we actually LATE? 

Me: YES, we are SO late! This is so humiliating. I can not believe that NOT ONLY am I dropping off my OWN kids late I am also dropping off my friend's kids late too! (Insert shame emoji)

Also Me: Wouldn't LATE mean that you dropped the kids off AFTER the tardy bell rang? What exactly is your definition of "late"?

Me: "On time" is early. So "Late" is also "not early". I don't like arriving AFTER the school doors open, I LIKE to get there BEFORE they open. I like to wait for the doors to open for a couple of minutes. That is when I feel like I am "on time".

Also Me: Right, but at what point would you cease to be early and would actually be late? 

Me: I don't want to be one of the last to drop off my kids!! I'm not "that kind" of mom!!! 

Also Me: Sure, but there are all kinds of reasons for being a little bit later, like getting stuck in extra traffic. That doesn't make you a bad mom. There are no brownie points for being first in line. There's just bringing your kids to school and not bringing the kids to school; getting there before the tardy bell and getting there after the tardy bell. So it's really okay. You're a good mom if you just get your kids to school. Period. It's okay. There is no shame in being late now and then. 

Me: Easy to say, easy to say. That is NOT how I feel today.

Also Me: Remeber that book you read a couple of months ago, where she said that she REGULARLY fails. She knows it and she expects it and she said that if she is not failing 70% of the time then she is happy? Remember that? 

Me: Oh yeah, I remember that. And remember how when you told your friend about that book he said that All-Star Baseball players have a batting average of around 300 which means that THEY FAIL 70% of the time, and they are still considered SUPER successful.

Also Me: Right?! That was such a fun conversation. And the point of it all is that it is OKAY TO FAIL sometimes. If you consider "not early" as a failure, well then, okay. It's not the end of the world. Shame never solved a problem or made anybody a better person. You can get the babies in the van a little earlier tomorrow and try again. It's okay. 

Me: Okay, and also - isn't Josiah so cute today?



Also Me: So cute. 





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